When Mary and Mary see and hear from the angel, see the empty tomb, and are given their task of sharing the good news that Jesus is no longer dead, their instinctual reaction is two things – fear and joy (Matthew 28:1-10). On the surface it feels like these two things can’t coexist, but here they are, fear and joy together, perfect partners for this moment. Perhaps it makes the most sense that as creation is dawning into a completely new thing, one’s emotional reaction to such news couldn’t possibly be just straightforward, unconfused fear or joy. It has to be both.
The resurrection pulls both of these out of us. Joy because we were right to put our hope in Jesus. Joy because death does not get the last word; death does not have to scare us because we belong to the one descended into death and rose right back up from it. Joy because this story is so wonderful – the world put all its greed, hate, and violence into the body of Jesus and it turns out the worst it could do was lay him down for three days. Joy because this world really does belong to Jesus.
And yet, there is also fear because… this world really does belong to Jesus. He’s not just a good teacher or advisor. He is the one who overcame death itself. As we behold the empty tomb and its lightning clad messenger, we no longer get to treat Jesus like he’s any less than that. If we’re going to call ourselves his disciples, there are no gaps in the claim that he has upon us, no place in our lives that don’t belong to him. Yes, if we really want to, we can come up with a story; Matthew tells us people have been doing that since that first Easter (Mt 28:11-15). We can tell ourselves a story that works better for our own priorities. We can tell ourselves a story that gives us a nice polite Jesus with some good ideas but doesn’t actually ask us to change. But truthfully, to peer into the empty to tomb and then to hear Jesus say, “Meet me in Galilee because our adventure together is just getting started,” (Mt 28:10) is to lose the Jesus that never challenged us and never made us feel a healthy amount of fear. That Jesus died and stayed in the tomb. This resurrected Jesus standing before us now – we belong to him and him alone. And if we’re honest, if we’ll search our real feelings about it, we’ll feel a lot of joy and fear.
It’s a scary thing to realize that reality belongs to the God who raises the dead, not because it’s bad news, but because it forces us to rethink everything. Once we believe in his resurrection, we have been swept up into believing that nothing is off limits. When Peter goes on to preach about the resurrection (Acts 2), he makes Psalm 16 his sermon text. “You will not abandon me to my death. You have made known to me the ways of life!” We could just as well say, “You will not abandon me to my addiction, despair, bitterness, sickness, divorce, loneliness, or sin. You’re making me truly alive.” There is no depth of sin and brokenness so deep that God cannot reach us, welcome us, and transform us completely. And there’s something intimidating and unsettling about knowing what a great and uncompromising faith in resurrection we are called to. Our God raises the dead. If we’re going to call ourselves the Church, we’re not allowed to aim any lower than that.